Stab My Back

Why is it that no matter what you do to me I can't hate you? No, that's a lie. I hate you with every bone in my body. I just need you. You are all I've known for so long, and I can't seem to get rid of you. Maybe it's just that you can't tell when I'm angry with you. Maybe you don't care.

You continually push me away then pull me back in. You hate me one day then the next day you 'love' me. That is total bullshit. You don't love anyone but yourself. You bitch about everyone constantly. You say you don't need their bullshit, that you don't want to know about their problems because you have problems of your own, but then you get angry when they don't tell you their problems.

You love attention, especially when it makes you seem tough and rebellious. You know exactly how you want people to see you, and you think you know what it takes to make us see you that way. Unfortunately for you, you're wrong. We just think you're attention seeking, and we are right aren't we?

I can deal with most of your crap. Really I can. What I can't handle is the lies. You lie to make yourself look good, but it makes you look like an idiot. Sometimes, you lie because you think I will get angry at the truth. I'm sorry to tell you this but you're not a very good liar. I can see right through it. And really, if you had told be the truth I wouldn't have cared too much. Why say 'I can't" when you really mean "I don't want to". I can handle it. But don't you think it is a little suspicious that what you "couldn't" do, you did in fact do, only with someone else. That proves that you could. Do you really think that I'm that stupid? That I wouldn't realise. It's not as though I wouldn't find out. Its not as if it is something that normal people think to keep secret now is it?

I just love this secrecy. I don't know whether it was you that didn't want me involved, or whether it was them. Honestly, I don't even care. The fact is, you lied. If you had just said you didn't want to, or you wanted to but with them instead, then I wouldn't be sitting here thinking you were pathetic. And this truly is pathetic.

Of course, nothing will happen. The only action I will take is writing this silly little blog, you will never read. Of course, you expect me to read yours every time you update it. Yet you have never so much as glanced at mine! It doesn't matter. This is all incredibly trivial stuff. Sadly, our friendship is based on trivial stuff. Why do you do this to me time and time again?

Why?