Fall To Pieces

It is funny how I thought I needed you. I believed that you somehow kept my world together, that I would fall apart without you. But I fell apart anyway. You were there, and you saw it, but you didn't stop it. You just watched pieces of me fall off and could do nothing keep me together. The funny thing is that I didn't even care.

All this time I thought I needed you to keep me together, when in reality all I needed was to fall apart. Now that I have, I can relax. I don't need to be scared anymore, because I have experienced the worst, and it made me feel better than I have for a long time.

What really shocked me is that for once I knew what to do, and you didn't. I even told you what to do, but you ignored me, of course. It took her telling you what to do before you listened. I was actually shocked that she knew, its moments like those that make me remember why I stick around.

Those moments I felt as though I was truly at one with myself. No expectations to live up to. No judgments being made. No feelings to hide. Just me within myself. I achieved this by not caring about what you thought. The one thing I always thought would destroy me, in the end turned out to be what saved me.

Now that I have come to realise that I do not need you, the question has to be asked;

Do I even want you?